| It's a pleasure to meet ya, you look like one incredible creature. |
[19 Aug 2006|03:44pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 bouncy |
] |
rawr. Been a long time, I know. I changed my mind about the whole 'Indigo' thing. Well, not completely. It'll still be my favourite name, but I won't use it as my own. 'Cept maybe sometimes online. Blah.
Anyway, I'm baaaaack. Shall give updates when I can be arsed writing stuffs.
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| You're the only one, I'd be with 'til the end. |
[16 Jul 2006|10:24pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 contemplative |
] |
I'm over last night. It was just a mood, I think. I'm still feeling crap, but that's an entirely different matter.
Anyway, I have news. Big news. Not really. Meh.
I have decided to change my name. It's not a legal thing, but I'm changing it anyway. From now on I shall be known as 'Indie', or 'Indigo'. I'll probably make a new LJ to go with it, as I've already changed my email, as well as my myspace. It'll be done soon enough.
Until I get around to it, I'll continue to use this one.
Hazzah!
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| Say it if it's worth saving me. |
[13 Jul 2006|03:31pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 blah |
] |
Down at Dad's at the moment. Got nicely bouncy on the weekend at the party, slept in Monkey's car, and tasted Southern Comfort for the first time. It was a great night. I'm glad it went well.
I've spent pretty much the last week with Monkey. He's coming over soon, too. I'm hoping it won't be too boring here. It's our last night together until God only knows when, so I want it to be a good one.
I don't want to go back tomorrow. I mean, I miss being up there, and I miss Mum and all, but I'm feeling so at home here. I belong here. I don't know. I just don't want to have to say goodbye again, I guess. It gets harder and harder every time. It sucks, but it's only for at least another six months. I'm sure I'll make it. I hope.
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| I don't wanna fall to pieces, I just wanna sit and stare at you. |
[04 Jul 2006|03:39am] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 excited |
] |
My tummy hurts. I'm really excited about this weekend. I get to see everyone again, while getting nicely sozzled in the process. I'm gonna have so much fun! And I'll get to be with Monkey all night *purrs*
I can't wait to see him again. I'm definitely looking forward to that part more than I am the party. It's been so long.
He's a git, though, 'cause he's got his car now, but he won't come visit me *wails* I miss him. I want him. I need him. But he won't listen. He just said 'you'll see me this weekend'. No romance, whatsoever.
Males suck.
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| Confusing what is real |
[02 Jul 2006|10:59pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 sore |
] |
Bah, I'm all teary. Been watching P!nk's 'Who Knew' video, and it just made me start sobbing. It's such a sad song, really. And after I'd been on the phone to Monkey, and he wanted to go so suddenly, I wasn't in the best shape. Not when I'd been waiting all day to talk to him. Git. I shall bite him.
Anyway, I'm tired. Sort of. I've not been sleeping properly at all lately. Kinda dumb, spending forevers online, lol
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| All alone, staring on, watching her life go by. |
[26 Jun 2006|07:49pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 lonely |
] |
Only eleven days left 'til I see Monkey again. I'm going crazy without him. I need him here with me. I need him to hold me. I just feel so alone and empty. I need him.
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| Take me out to the ball game..... |
[23 Jun 2006|10:45pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 bored |
] |
What? Heh.
I'm having a body-bashing contest. Sort of. I won without having to say anything nasty about my body. Awesome. I spose it helps when you've gone through an eating disorder and stuffs. YaY! I won, in all my self-consciousness! Probably not a good thing, but meh.
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| I love you, I have loved you all along. |
[22 Jun 2006|11:51am] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 cold |
] |
Last night was horrible. I realised that I'm alone.
I can't talk to anyone around me anymore. When ever I try to talk to mum, she just keeps telling me to get a job and do something with my life. I'm not ven going to bother talking to anyone else in my house, because they're all crazy. I can't talk to my friends up here because I never get to see them. I can't talk to Monkey because it's too expensive. I can't talk to Yan because.....well, I don't really know why I can't talk to her, but things are weird between us at the moment.
I don't have anyone real to talk to. Sure, I can talk to people online and stuff, but it's not the same. I need physical company. I hate feeling so damn lonely! I'm sick of it! Ggggaaahhh!
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| What do you feel when you look in the mirror? Are you proud? |
[21 Jun 2006|11:10pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
lonely |
] |
I'm so sick of this! I hate being moody, I hate being lonely, and I hate not having any damn credit! I wish I could talk to Monkey. It's times like these when I miss him the most. Late at night, no one to talk to, and nothing to think about but him. It's driving me crazy!
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| How can you see into my eyes like open doors? |
[19 Jun 2006|04:31pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
lonely |
] |
YaY! I'm back! I miss Monkey again. I saw him yesterday and all, but yeah. He's gone down to Vic. for the next three days, which means he's even farther away than usual *wails* Aaand I'm not going to see him for the next three weeks!
Anywho, got back last night. And finally watched Napoleon Dynamite! 'Larious. 'I like your sleeves.' Ahahaha. Good fun.
I'm bored!
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| I'm sorry, I'm falling down on to you. |
[16 Jun 2006|01:34pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
excited |
] |
Going down the coast again tonight. Going to Brett's CD launch *yays* And then, on Saturday night, I'm going out with Monkey. He's got his P's now, so nyah. He'll pick me up, and we'll do.....something. Iono. We'll figure it out.
Yay! I got a new phone! It's all small and silver and swish-like. 'Tis luffly.
I'm bored. And I have to go pack stuff. To all my lovely 'fans' out there, who for some reason, enjoy reading my LJ, I shall be back on Sunday night, with a summary of my weekend.
Toodles! ♥ Resa
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| This time, this place, mis-used, mistakes. |
[13 Jun 2006|03:13pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
blah |
] |
Cold! I hate winter. On the drive back up from my mini holiday, there was snow everywhere. It was pretty. I wish Monkey could have been there. We would have stopped the car, and got out to have a snowball fight. We wouldn't care how cold it was. We'd help each other warm up afterwards.
I called him last night. I don't know why. I just needed to hear his voice. He thought it was weird, because I'd been with him only hours before. I don't care. You do stupid things when you're in love. He should know that by now.
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| I believe in you, I'll give up everything just find you |
[09 Jun 2006|01:39pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
high |
] |
Zomg! I get to see my Monkey tomorrow! *dies, and dies again* I'm so excited.
I cut off all my hair today. And I'm in the process of turning it a nice shade of red. YaY! I'm all happy. And stuff. YaY! *falls over* Ib have a towel around my head. Awesome.
I'm all hyper and stuffs. It's great fun! I haven't been like this in aaaaages.
fghtptptgh. Yes.
♥ Resa
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| My mouth was dry, only you quenched my thirst. |
[08 Jun 2006|02:58pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
bouncy |
] |
Slept in, again. I didn't mean to! My alarm didn't wake me up, the crappy thing that it is.
YaY! I'm going down the coast tomorrow! YaY! I get to see Monkey tomorrow! Much YaY! I made an awesome coffee this morning! Err....afternoon.
Anywho, meh. I feel like listening to lovely Scott Stapp 'gain. He's such a sex-pot! Not to mention the only man on the face of the Earth that looks good in leather pants. Scrap that. I forgot the dude from The Darkness *purrs*
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| A thin red line tells you where the blade has been, so many secrets hiding beneath my skin. |
[07 Jun 2006|06:55pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
numb |
] |
I'm numb. All over. Inside and out. I'm unfeeling. There is no emotion inside me whatsoever. This can't happen again. Not now. Not when everything has been so perfect for me. I don't want to be on the verge. Not now, not ever.
I can't do it. I can't let myself sink back to that. I need Adam. I need reassurance that I'm ok, that I'm not going to fail. Not again.
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| I'm going under, drowning in you. |
[07 Jun 2006|03:44pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 drained |
] |
Odd emotions, yet again. I'm feeling a bizarre sense of wistfulness, as well as misery. Is that normal? Reminds me of that line from Harry Potter 3 - 'you're going to suffer, but you're gonna be....happy about it'. Very fitting.
I just don't know what's wrong with me. I've been so up and down lately. My mood's always all over the place, and last night, I burst into tears for no apparent reason.
I'm so messed up at the moment. My old school counsellor thought I might be bipolar. If only she could see me now. She'd probably have me committed, the stupid old bat. Gaaaah!
Can't wait to go down the coast again to see Monkey. Missing him like crazy. Probably already said that, but meh. He'd understand why I'm feeling like this. He always does. He's so smart! And he'd give me a hug, and tell me that I'm fine, and that I'm only going slightly off the rails. It's all good!
♥ Resa
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resa_bear's journal
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